Open Tour Buses

We wake up sweating like mad. There's no air conditioning in the hotel room and it's 30C outside. We shower and make our way down to breakfast on the basement level. A little woman looking a bit like Madame Tussaud asks for our room number and we sign our names on her list. She points to a table and we pick up our bowls and plates to see what's on offer. There are three Perspex bowls on a carousel full of cardboard corn flakes. A wicker stand holds bread rolls, croissants and sliced baguettes. Some ham and cheese are inside more Perspex bowls. Orange juice, grapefruit juice and milk stand in jugs by the coffee machine. Bienvenue a la petit déjuner pour quatre jours! All I can say is that the croissants are lovely although it'd be nice if the jam wasn't so watery. The corn flakes are cardboardy (as previously mentioned) and the milk is that longlife shit. However the coffee is the best in the world!

Open Tour Buses are great. For 28€ you get two days unlimited bus rides on Open Tour buses around Paris. Four lines stop at or near all the attractions and you even get personal earphones so you can listen to the commentary in 8 languages during the rides. So we grab our first bus outside le Gare du Nord and make our way to le Madeleine so we can switch lines and go to the Musée du Louvre. Of course, no one told us that all museums are shut on Tuesdays. Bother. We wander around the glass pyramid anyway and then decide that we will walk it to Notre Dame.

Bad idea. It's now 10.30am and the sun is in full swing. We ramble along the bank of the Seine, pitying the people sweltering under the glass on a barge trip and fanning themselves frantically. We arrive at some shade and gasp for breath. Reuben purchases bottles of water and we gulp it down with relish. We pass le Palais de Justice and finally spot le Cathédrale Notre-Dame de Paris surrounded by tourists in groups and taking pictures from all angles. We are herded into Notre Dame with the crowds speaking all different languages and manage to grab a seat near the pulpit so we can admire the windows. Having cooled down sufficiently we tour the cathedral and head back out into the heat and to catch another bus.

We pass le Institut de France and le Musée d'Orsay before getting off the bus at le Place de la Concorde so we can walk down the Avenue des Champs-Elysées. The shops were brilliant and we popped in and out again to appreciate the air conditioning. I now feel quite weak from the heat and am grateful each time a feel a slight breeze of air. We arrived at le Arc de Triomphe and took pictures before taking our third bus pass the Trocadéro and arriving at le Tour Eiffel.

It is now 1pm and incredibly hot. We walk through the park behind the tower and stand near a sprinkler to cool down. In our search for a bench we end up sitting on newspaper on a 'bird bench' with two lovely American old dears. One said she was born in London and had that distinctive Anglo-American twang in her voice that made her sound Canadian. Her friend was all-out Ohio. We chatted for a bit and ended up travelling on the bus with them pass the Hôtel des Invalides back to Le Madeleine so we could change tour lines and take a bus up to Montmartre.

Montmartre is a bit like Tottenham - it's dirty and you can get mugged in broad daylight and no-one would bat an eyelid. However it is where le Basilique duu Sacre-Coeur is situated, as well as all the sex shops and the infamous Moulin Rouge. As we travel up the Boulevard de Clichy Reuben constantly jokes about going into a sex shop. So we get off the bus and do just that. We decide against buying any DVDs as they all only play region 2 but I was a bit tempted to get my brother a magazine entitled Down the Hatch. Giggling madly we took our last bus back to le Gard du Nord and went back to the hotel.

Its been so hot we haven't eaten all day and have just drank the equivalent of 2½ litres of water each. So we shower for the 3rd time (our 2nd being the sprinkler in the park) and attempt to find somewhere were we can eat small portions. We go to Buffalo Bill and opt for the a la carte menu of burger or buffalo wings with fries followed by crême brulée and expresso. The restaurant had air con but they didn't turn it on, typically tight of Parisians. We did have some very nice Pina Coladas even though they cost 9€ a go. Eating and drinking is turning out to be expensive in Paris. Bottled water is at least 2.50€ a time for a regular 50cl bottle.

Desperate now for some air con we wander up the street and end up in McDonalds. Sitting under the air con slurping a vanilla milkshake was the ultimate feeling. You cannot believe how nice it was. And we decided we must be pretty desperate to be in Paris and Maccy D's being the best place to go.